I've been thinking a lot lately about why I want my kids to be good. Well, more like, I've been thinking a lot lately that I want my kids to be good. Then I started to wonder why. Really, honestly, searching my heart and asking myself why I wanted my kids to be good. Here are my answers:
1.) I want life to be easy. When my children do what I ask, when I ask, I don't have to think or do anything. Life is easy.
2.) I don't want to be embarrassed. When my kids act up, I look bad. Let me be clear: I am not embarrassed by my children. I'm embarrassed that I can't handle them. It has very little to do with them and a lot to do with me.
There you have it. I've come up with two, completely self-serving reasons I want my kids to be good. I don't want to work hard and I don't want to look bad while I'm not working hard. Hmmm. This doesn't sound so good. Safety doesn't even make the list. I mean sure, I want my kids to be safe, but if they just listen, life will be easy, and they'll be safe. Right?
1.) I want life to be easy. When my children do what I ask, when I ask, I don't have to think or do anything. Life is easy.
2.) I don't want to be embarrassed. When my kids act up, I look bad. Let me be clear: I am not embarrassed by my children. I'm embarrassed that I can't handle them. It has very little to do with them and a lot to do with me.
There you have it. I've come up with two, completely self-serving reasons I want my kids to be good. I don't want to work hard and I don't want to look bad while I'm not working hard. Hmmm. This doesn't sound so good. Safety doesn't even make the list. I mean sure, I want my kids to be safe, but if they just listen, life will be easy, and they'll be safe. Right?
Could I be more selfish?
Okay, so my motives are bad. Does that mean that I'm wrong to want good kids?
After praying about it and thinking on it a while, I'm going to say, "I don't know, but I have a hunch."
No, wanting good kids isn't wrong. I want them to love each other (especially in a sibling situation). I want them to laugh, giggle, and be joyful. I want them to rest when its time to rest, both in body and soul. I want them to be patient with each other (and with me when I say things like, "I'll get you milk in a minute"). I want them to be kind to others on the playground. I want them to be good, loyal friends. I want them to use gentle hands and words with each other. Maybe, above all, I want the to use self-control when they're speaking, as well as in other areas.
When the list is written like that, it sounds a lot like Galatians 5:22-23
Okay, so my motives are bad. Does that mean that I'm wrong to want good kids?
After praying about it and thinking on it a while, I'm going to say, "I don't know, but I have a hunch."
No, wanting good kids isn't wrong. I want them to love each other (especially in a sibling situation). I want them to laugh, giggle, and be joyful. I want them to rest when its time to rest, both in body and soul. I want them to be patient with each other (and with me when I say things like, "I'll get you milk in a minute"). I want them to be kind to others on the playground. I want them to be good, loyal friends. I want them to use gentle hands and words with each other. Maybe, above all, I want the to use self-control when they're speaking, as well as in other areas.
When the list is written like that, it sounds a lot like Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control...
When my motives are right, then the reason I want good kids is because I want them to be like Jesus.
When my motives are right, it becomes less about me and my needs, and more about my boys and their need...their need for God.
Father, change my motives. Let my first priority be to have boys who are full of your spirit. Give me the strength to discipline when it's needed, even when I don't feel like it. Remind me that this is not about me, Lord, but completely and totally about you. Above all, Father, let my babies be wild with love for you.
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